Supporting you through the loss of a pregnancy or the death of a baby
About us
The Lotus Team offers support to women and birthing people who have experienced the loss of a pregnancy or the death of a baby.
We offer support through individual therapy, group work, peer support and specialist midwifery care.
We know the impact that this type of loss can have in all areas of life, even if this is not always recognised in our society.
Whether you have experienced a miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, termination of pregnancy, stillbirth or the death of a baby within the first 12 months, either recently or in the past – you don’t need to suffer alone. Support is available to help navigate your grief journey and to reflect on your experience.
The Lotus Team is proud to include professionals from a range of backgrounds – including Clinical Psychologists, Peer Support Workers, Psychotherapists, and Specialist Midwives – to provide person-centred care according to your needs.
You can self-refer and we also accept referrals from GPs, midwives, social workers, health visitors, other mental health services and agencies.
About this service
We are very sorry to know that you may be reading this because you have experienced a pregnancy loss or the death of a baby. We want you to know that you are not alone in this - our team is here to help you through this grief journey.
Sadly, the loss of a pregnancy or the death of a baby is not an uncommon experience in the United Kingdom. Every day in 2018:
- 515 pregnancies ended in miscarriages.
- 144 babies were born preterm.
- 8 babies were stillborn.
(data taken from Tommy’s, 2021*).
We are funded to support people who have experienced miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, termination of a pregnancy, stillbirths and the death of a baby within the first 12 months. Although there are differences between each type of loss, we understand that they can be equally as traumatic and impact your wellbeing.
For more information on these types of losses, please click here to be taken to the Tommy’s website.
In some circumstances women or birthing people may never know what caused the loss of their pregnancy or the death of their baby, which may result in strong and complex feelings. These feelings are common after this loss and can happen to anyone, no matter their circumstances.
We know that everyone grieves differently and there are no right or wrong ways to grieve. You may experience grief reactions at different times after the loss of your pregnancy or the death of your baby. Here are some of the ways you may react to experiencing this loss:
- Being emotionally disconnected or numb, especially soon after the loss.
- Avoiding other people.
- Trouble sleeping.
- Feelings of guilt and feeling responsible for what happened.
- Feeling angry.
- Troubles with memory and difficulties making decisions.
- Feelings of jealousy towards other pregnant people or those with babies.
- Being very tearful, sometimes without an obvious trigger.
- Feeling shocked and confused, especially if this death or loss was unexpected.
As humans, it’s completely natural to grieve. However, if after some time you are feeling as though this grief is overwhelming on a daily basis and is affecting how you are able to get on with your life, it may benefit you to reach out to our service and see what support we can offer you. We would recommend discussing with your healthcare provider about how you are feeling. There are more details on how to refer to our service further on this webpage, as well as additional organisations that could provide support.
What we offer
As part of an individual plan, we will work with you to consider what support would be most helpful. This might include:
- Individual therapy – supporting you to make sense of your experiences, learn new skills, clarify what is important, and plan a way forward
- Group Work – an opportunity to learn ways to manage difficult emotions, share your story, and connect with others who may have gone through a similar experience
- Peer Support – accompanying and inspiring people on their recovery journey through use of their lived experiences of trauma and/or loss around the period of pregnancy or shortly afterwards.
- Support from Specialist Midwives – providing advice and support about pregnancy, birth and postnatal care that is relevant to your individual experience. If appropriate, the Midwives can also support you by developing specialist care plans for a future or current pregnancy alongside your existing Maternity team.
We know that the loss of a pregnancy or the death of baby can be a very traumatic experience. We offer a “trauma informed care approach”, which means:
- staff being trustworthy and clear.
- peer support.
- working together and supporting women to make individual choices.
- being sensitive to cultural and gender issues that may impact on anyone’s experience of care.
Additional support within the Lotus Team
We also offer support for women and birthing people who may experience difficulties related to:
- Birth trauma (a traumatic event related to pregnancy, birth or afterwards)
- Fear of childbirth (Tokophobia)
- Your child no longer living with you due to Children’s Services involvement
It is common for people to have experience across these situations. We can discuss any additional needs you might have and think together about what support might look like.
How to refer
You can refer yourself by calling 01603 786781 or sending an email to lotus@nsft.nhs.uk. Please note that the phone line and email are not staffed 24/7, and if you need help urgently see the information below. You can also ask your midwife, health visitor, or other health or social care professional to make a referral on your behalf.
Other agencies you might find useful
Local support
Time Norfolk. supports people who have suffered a pregnancy loss due to termination, miscarriage, stillbirth or facing an unplanned pregnancy. They also support people through pregnancy to the early stages of parenting. In addition to the above, they help people come to terms with infertility.
CRADLE Norfolk @cradle_norfolk CRADLE ambassadors for the Norfolk and Norwich University and Kings Lynn Queen Elizabeth hospitals. To bring comfort to parents during a time of pregnancy loss.
Angels and Rainbows (angelsandrainbowssupport.co.uk) - Angels and Rainbows is a community group based in Lowestoft which supports families of pregnancy and baby loss.
Whispers from Wings - A bereaved parent group in Kings Lynn who meet monthly to support each other and work on projects to raise awareness about baby loss in the UK.
National Support
The Miscarriage Association offers livechat, support groups via zoom and a forum.
SANDS Sands supports anyone who has been affected by the death of a baby before, during or shortly after birth.
Lullaby Trust support for families and others affected by sudden infant death.
Child bereavement UK support for families bereaved of children.
ARC UK, support and promotion of human rights for parents before, during and after antenatal screening.
Tommy’s facebook page for those who have lost pregnancies and babies for diverse reasons including termination due to congenital problems.
Petals (Pregnancy Expectations Trauma and Loss Society) provides individual and couples counselling sessions to individuals following the loss of a baby.
Mariposa - the Mariposa Trust and provides support for anyone who is affected by baby loss, at any stage of pregnancy, at birth or in infancy, whether the loss be recent or historic.
Urgent help
The Lotus team is unable to offer 24-hour crisis support. However, NSFT runs the First Response line, which is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They can be contacted by calling 0808 196 3494.
If you are with someone who has attempted suicide, call 999 and stay with them until the ambulance arrives.
If anyone is at serious risk of harm, call 999 and ask for the police.
For non life-threatening medical situations, call NHS111 on 111.
For more information, see Help in a crisis.
References
*Pregnancy Loss Statistics (Tommy’s, 2021) https://www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support/pregnancy-loss-statistics